Boundless Love

David Scott Fields II, Senior Writer • September 20, 2021

Adoption is one of God’s greatest gifts. Without it, none of us would ever see the Kingdom of Heaven. We are told in Scripture, “In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved” (Ephesians 1:5-6 – NASB). Every believer is redeemed through this special form of adoption, so it is hardly surprising that many faithful followers of Christ would want to imitate their Creator through another form of adoption – the kind that gives loving homes to so many children in need. This series of The Believer’s Byline will focus on four families who have participated in the ministry of adoption.

We begin with the story of a dear couple from Florida, Matt and Erin, and their two precious adopted sons, Benji and Charlie. Like any faithful Christian couple, the love Matt and Erin share with each other and their sons began with a love for Christ and His Church. As Matt explained, “The short version is we met here at church, and we started serving in children’s ministry together and that led to dating and marriage.”

Now over eight years into their marriage, Matt and Erin can certainly look back and see God’s faithfulness, but the journey has been far from easy. Erin picked up the story of their adoption journey here saying, “We had a hard time getting pregnant because of my health issues. We hadn’t really talked about it [adoption], but it was always one of those things in the back our minds, like Plan B.” Erin received counsel from a friend reminding her that not everyone is called to adoption. Erin’s friend’s question was simply, “Do you just want to be a mom or do you want to have your own kids?” In the moment, Erin honestly did not have a response, but as He so often does, the Lord used time to bring about the answer.

Erin would later return to her friend and mentor, who had recently adopted. In the process of that adoption, Erin’s mentor had heard the story of Benji’s birth mother. She had conceived him after being raped and was going to give the baby up for adoption once he was born. At the time, Erin’s mentor thought Erin’s brother and sister-in-law might be interested in the adoption. They were foster parents at the time. However, she did not realize that the Lord would use that mother’s story to begin a stirring in Erin’s own heart. As she put it, “I became softened. I think that’s when I learned I just wanted to be a mom. I didn’t really care if it was biologically.”

The Lord used time to prepare Erin, but once that happened everything else started speeding up. She went home and told Matt the incredible story of the soon-to-be born little boy needing a family. Matt’s response was encouraging when he said, “Okay, let’s talk about it.” But as Erin related, her response was, “Well, we kind of need to know in like a week!” Matt chuckled at that memory, and no doubt such a fast deadline seemed like an impossibility. Thankfully, Matt and Erin serve a God who specializes in the impossible.

The reason for the tight deadline was that the birth mother would soon be presented with books introducing potential parents to her. From these details, she would choose the couple who would raise her son. Matt and Erin wasted no time. First, they sought counsel from a family in their church who had also adopted. Their number one question was, “How do we think through this?”

Erin was 100% committed by that point, but multiple barriers to the adoption still stood in the way. Far from least among them was the financial barrier. As Matt detailed, “It’s between $30,000 and $40,000 to adopt. You have to pay the attorney’s fees, and then you pay all of the birth mom’s living expenses and the medical and all that.”

Though both Matt and Erin were working at the time, it was still a huge amount to come up with. There are grants and scholarships for families looking to adopt, but these are never certain. Ultimately, Matt decided, “Let’s put our book in. If the Lord wants us to have the baby, He will pick us and if not He won’t.”

And He did! After reviewing the books of the perspective families, the birth mother chose Matt and Erin. As Erin explained, “She picked fast! She got our books and said, ‘That one!’ It was definitely the Lord’s will.” Then Erin added with conviction, “It was good for us because we really had to trust the Lord.” At the time, the birth mother had another six months to go in her pregnancy. Usually matches are not made so early, but it was done this time because of her very difficult circumstances.

Matt then went on, “We began doing research and found a bunch of scholarships, and the Lord provided in many weird and mysterious ways.” One of those ways was through the $14,000 tax credit offered to adopting families, but this is not available until the year after the adoption is finalized. Even so, the Lord proved faithful, and six months later they were able to bring little Benji home.

And Matt and Erin’s family did not stop growing there. In the course of time, they decided they wanted to have a sibling for Benji, and that is where Charlie’s story begins. Says Erin, “We met her [Benji’s mother] with six months to go, but he [Charlie] was already born.” Prior to this, two previous attempts at adopting a sibling for Benji had fallen through. However, with Charlie they were told, “I have a baby already born, so this is going to be fast!” Charlie was two weeks old when they learned about him, and by week five the birth mother had chosen Matt and Erin to be his parents. Recalling the swiftness of it all, Erin said, “We got the call that we were picked on Monday and picked him up on Thursday. It was a whirlwind!”

After hearing the stories of these two incredible parents and their adopted boys, I had to ask, “What do you think has been the greatest reward and the greatest challenge of being adoptive parents?” For Erin the primary benefit is “…the spiritual picture of adoption. You being strangers to these children. You do not know them at all. Then all of a sudden they are at your table, and they get all the benefits of your family – forever! We don’t stop loving them. We don’t give them back. Just like with Christ. We start as His enemies. We don’t know Him at all, and then all of a sudden we are part of His family – forever!”

Matt and Erin also related the fact that for Benji, one of the miraculous benefits of his adoption was sustaining his life itself. Says Matt, “Especially with Benji, he would probably be dead. With all of his health issues, his birth mother would not have known what to do. The Lord saved him physically and hopefully the Lord saves him spiritually.” That is a prayer that will no doubt be shared by every minister of the Word who meets Benji and Charlie.

The greatest challenge, as Matt explained, is knowing when and how much information to reveal to the boys about their birth families. A day comes sooner or later for most adopted children when they ask, “Where do I come from?” For now, Matt’s answer is, “Little minds. Little information. They don’t know much now, and they don’t need to. As they get older, we’ll explain more and let them know what is going on. We probably won’t let them meet their birth parents until they are 18, but at 18 they can make their own decisions.”

Until then Matt and Erin will continue to look to the Lord and His Church for love, support, and wisdom as they continue to navigate the waters of what it means to be adoptive parents. As we wrapped up the interview, I asked, “For anyone considering adoption, what advice would you give them?” Matt was spot on with his counsel, “Definitely pray about it and ask the Lord for wisdom. It is not for everybody. Some people just want to have their own children, and that is totally fine, but adoption is great, we love it, and we wouldn’t trade it for anything.” Erin then added, “Seeking wise counsel from people who have already done it is helpful and asking questions. And I think the biggest thing is again, do you want to be a mom and dad, or do you want to have your own biological children?”

Matt and Erin’s adoption story is far from over. They are currently in the queue awaiting the possibility of adopting another child. Says Erin, “We would love a girl – but, of course, we love boys too.” It is my prayer that the Lord will continue to bless this sweet family. I also pray that their story can be an inspiration to those considering adoption. Matt and Erin chose to trust the Lord, and He came through with His sure provision and boundless love – as He always does.

References

Scriptures have been taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE ®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

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